Are You a Perfectionist?


Questions and observations to ask or notice yourself:

1. Does reflection Keeps you from being calm, happy, content?

2. Does reflection Keeps you from succeeding in the long-term?

3. Think something bad will happen if you are not perfect?

4. No effort is ever good enough (self or others)?

5. Feel as if there is never enough time?

6. Feelings of being overwhelmed?

7. Standards cannot be met w/out intense emotional/physical effort

8. Feel tense, frustrated, disappointed, sad, or angry

9. Appear to have a need for control

10. Difficultly in trusting others

11. Distorts perceptions of self

12. Causes tension and conflict it relationships

13. Self-conscious/feels criticized by others (inward)

14. Fearful/anxious of making mistakes (inward)

15. Worry ideas are not good enough (inward)

16. Low confidence in self (inward)

17. Trouble making decisions (inward)

18. Others do not cooperate to get it right the first time (outward)

19. Preoccupied by details and organization (outward)

20. High need for structure and defined rules (outward)

21. There is a right and a wrong way to do things (outward)

22. Low confidence in others (outward)

23. Perfectionistic Active Behaviors

24. Achieving unrelenting standards & high expectations to overcome shame?

25. Behaviors are considered to be necessary but seen as excessive to others?

26. Active behaviors may be done at the expense of other important activities?

Examples: checking, organizing, list making, over exercising, redoing things, correcting others, restrictive eating/dieting, etc.

Skills to Balance Perfectionism:

1. Wise Mind (Doing versus Being)

2. Balance this dialectic with a Middle Path plan

3. Turn the Mind towards Radical Acceptance

4. Think small steps (Step by Step) to get there

5. Try Opposite Action to the uncomfortableness of not doing

6. Learn to Self-Soothe (Opposite Action to being self punishing)

7. CopeAhead for situations that may be problematic

8. Perfectionistic Avoidance Behaviors

9. Aimed to avoid failure or essentially the emotion of shame

10. Too afraid to try is based off fear of failure/shame

Examples: giving up too soon, indecisiveness, procrastination, waiting until the last minute, avoiding tasks, people, situations, etc.

Skills to Balance Avoidance:

1. Try Avoid Avoiding & Opposite Action to fear and shame

2. Practice Self-Compassion on how hard it is

3. Step by Step (small action steps)

4. Gently Expose to break intense fear